Who Are You When No One Is Watching?
You’re often the one who “has it together.”
You’re responsible. Thoughtful. Reliable.
You know how to show up for your family, work, relationships.
You know how to be the good daughter, the dependable partner, the one who doesn’t cause trouble.
And yet, in quieter moments, you wonder:
Who am I when I’m not meeting expectations?
What do I want, outside of what’s been asked of me?
Many South Asian women grow up holding two worlds at once. At home, cultural values are rooted in care, duty, and responsibility. Outside, there’s pressure to be confident (but not too confident), and independent (but not too independent).
You learned how to read a room very early on. How to anticipate needs. How to keep the peace, even when it means silencing parts of yourself. Over time, this can blur the line between who you are and who you’ve learned to be.
This often shows up as:
Guilt when setting boundaries
Difficulty making decisions without reassurance
Feeling disconnected from your needs
A sense of “doing well” but not feeling well
At Mango Grove, we often hear folks say, “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
What we see is an identity that has been shaped by love, survival, and cultural expectations — an identity that hasn’t always had much room to breathe.
Identity work in therapy is about creating space for you.
It’s about gently exploring:
Who you are becoming
What matters to you now
How to live in alignment without constant guilt
You are allowed to take up space. Reconnecting with yourself can feel unsettling at first. You may worry about being selfish, disappointing others, or changing too much. At Mango Grove, we believe that taking up space means honouring your full self, along with your loved ones, responsibilities, and expectations that may come with culture. You don’t have to have all the answers to begin. That’s what our team is here for!
Mango Grove offers individual therapy, low-cost options, and digital tools designed for South Asian women navigating identity, family expectations, and healing. You’re welcome to explore at your own pace.
